Wednesday, January 23, 2013

More than I can handle?

Ok, so God won't give me more than I can handle right? It's just lately I've been feeling like I am pretty much at my max and then more and more stuff keeps happening. On top of getting a Thyroid Cancer result for my husband last week, we got news that he would need a total thyroidectomy by next week, my shower broke, my tire has a slow leak, my inspection is due by next week, my battery in the other car is dead, laundry is out of control, and my house needs some serious attention. So what's next... well let's add in that hubby's surgery is scheduled on our daughters 18th birthday. Yes, that's right... so instead of plans to take her to register to vote, buy a lottery ticket, and go out to dinner we will be spending our day in the hospital. I guess God thinks I can handle quite a lot. I must admit I was feeling really overwhelmed with it all and completely unprepared. I found myself scatter brained today and would forget what I was saying mid-sentence because a new thought would jump in my head. I cried today. I haven't cried since I first got the news of the cancer last week. I cried after I tried to get my 12 & 13 year old daughters guidance Counselor on the phone and couldn't. "She is on the other line would you like to leave a voicemail?" is what the lady who answered told me. I said I would hold for her. 1 min later the same question. I said I would hold again. Then she came back saying the counselor was off the phone but not available, however I could leave a message. REALLY? I said no thank you and just hung up. I sat there so annoyed all I could do was cry at my desk. It must be anxiety. Hubby has been having anxiety also and although we know the outcome will be fine since this cancer is "highly treatable' and "the best type of cancer to have" we still feel really worried and just generally bummed out. He will have no thyroid and will be on meds the rest of his life. For some people that's nothing. For hubby it's a big deal. All I can do is surrender it all to God. I keep remembering the scripture in Matthew that says but seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well. So don't worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble to bear. I know that if we just hold tight and be faithful someday we will live happily ever after. Good Night Love Isca

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